So I don't claim to be an expert at relationships. But I've had my fair share of crappy ones. And those, despite your efforts, are the ones that you end up carrying with you. It means you feel you can't trust anyone and you are terrified of getting hurt again. It doesn't matter how many times your friends tell you really nice things you don't believe it because all you see is the bad stuff.
It also is a trigger for my anxiety, I worry who is looking at me and why, and what they are thinking. There have been times I have been at the point of panic attacks because I am that worried of people around me. There are tonnes of quotes I could come up with to motivate me into changing my thinking, but personally I think its something everyone experiences, some are just better at it than others.
I have realised getting hurt can help you learn. That sometimes walking away, however hard can help in the long run. What matters is how you feel within your self, so I write down things I am grateful for, and try to write one positive thing about myself every week (little steps always work better than throwing yourself into something from my experience). Having a network of support whether its friends or family you can confide in means even when everyone around you seems to be in relationships.. having babies etc. You know there's someone at the other end of a phone or Facebook message to help.
When someone says they like you, appreciate it. Take little steps towards trusting them more. If it works out great, if not its okay to cry a little bit and move on. Take it as another learning experience.
So here I am (mostly) happy to be single and curious what my future holds.
xx
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